I can’t get my front door to open,

No matter how hard that I try.

It never budges when I push,

Please don’t ask me why.

Not only have I pushed

But I’ve pulled with all my might!

Why won’t this stupid door open?!

Why is it stuck so tight?!

I’ve tried to blast it open,

I conked it with a tree!

I dragged the door with a strong rope

But it wasn’t enough with just me!

I pulled so hard that the doorknob flew off,

And now it won’t stick back in.

I pushed so hard that the door broke a hinge

But the bad news will just begin!

I think I sprained an ankle,

And also broke an arm.

These injuries were done by someone deadly

–The door did all the harm!

I think the door is broken,

I think the suspect is me.

The landlord’s going to break my bones,

For that I guarantee!

Maybe I locked the house,

And then forgot the key,

The landlord’s going to kick me out of town,

I should move to Tennessee!

Might I try to squeeze through the window?

And make the door release?

But someone might mistake me for a burglar,

And then call the police!

I’ll never be able to get home now,

You should feel some pity.

Maybe I’ll go into town

And request for the door-fixing committee!

I can’t get my front door to open,

I’ve tried and tried and tried.

Hey! What’s this label here?

‘Don’t PUSH nor PULL-just SLIDE’